I'm feeling...
This morning, I attempted to do something I have never done before. I finished a 10k. That is 6.2 miles. Longest I have ever gone. My goal was to finish in 1:20. I finished in 1:28. I had to walk all of mile 4 to 5. There was a panic attack at mile 3 when I realized that I was only half way finished and I had to do everything I had just done again. But thanks to the great volunteers and some girls in tutus who were also running the 10k, I got back in the groove and went around again. As soon as I hit the second lap, my phone went dark and I lost my music. So the other three miles was me listening to my breathing and each step I took. On top of all of this, it was so humid it felt like I was running under water, through mud, and definitely through Satan's armpit. It was rough, it was challenging, and I wish I had done better, but I need to remember that I did it. A year ago, this wouldn't have been physically possible. At all. Yes, I was a little slower than I wanted, but I still did a 14 minute split. So, I can be proud of that. Plus, I finished. I was 80th out of 82 that ran the 10K, but I finished. It wasn't pretty, but I finished.
It always amazes me the people that are part of the running community. For the most part, everyone is there to support each other, encourage one another, and celebrate the small stuff. My bestie did the 5k today and struggled with joint pain because of a medication she is on, but she did it. She got up, got there, and did it. Again, we were running through Satan's armpit, so our bodies struggled, but she did it. She didn't let her pain get her. In fact, she was at the finish line waiting for me, and when she saw me, ran to me and helped me get across the finish line. She was in pain and had already done her race, but she ran with me across the finish line. She is my hero.
So while I didn't finish how I wanted, and I struggled for a mile or so to just put one foot in front of the other and keep going, I did it. I pushed my body into doing something that I am sure tomorrow it is going to be all kinds of mad at me, but I did it. I realized that while it wasn't pretty, and it was painful, I still accomplished something that would have been laughable last year.
I may not be able to do the half in September like I want, but I learned today, that I can keep pushing until I accomplish my goals. It may be hard fought, with lots of battle scars, but aren't those the most rewarding of accomplishments? When it takes every last ounce of ability and then some? I definitely did not cross the finish line in my own strength. I had three miles of convincing myself that I could finish, but what really did it was this verse that kept going through my head: "Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." Hebrews 12:1-2
Yes, I had to push my body to do something it felt was impossible, but this was the race set before me. And I finished.
It always amazes me the people that are part of the running community. For the most part, everyone is there to support each other, encourage one another, and celebrate the small stuff. My bestie did the 5k today and struggled with joint pain because of a medication she is on, but she did it. She got up, got there, and did it. Again, we were running through Satan's armpit, so our bodies struggled, but she did it. She didn't let her pain get her. In fact, she was at the finish line waiting for me, and when she saw me, ran to me and helped me get across the finish line. She was in pain and had already done her race, but she ran with me across the finish line. She is my hero.
So while I didn't finish how I wanted, and I struggled for a mile or so to just put one foot in front of the other and keep going, I did it. I pushed my body into doing something that I am sure tomorrow it is going to be all kinds of mad at me, but I did it. I realized that while it wasn't pretty, and it was painful, I still accomplished something that would have been laughable last year.
I may not be able to do the half in September like I want, but I learned today, that I can keep pushing until I accomplish my goals. It may be hard fought, with lots of battle scars, but aren't those the most rewarding of accomplishments? When it takes every last ounce of ability and then some? I definitely did not cross the finish line in my own strength. I had three miles of convincing myself that I could finish, but what really did it was this verse that kept going through my head: "Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." Hebrews 12:1-2
Yes, I had to push my body to do something it felt was impossible, but this was the race set before me. And I finished.
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