This is 40... a month later
So, a month ago today I had something happen that I was dreading. I mean pit in my stomach, nausea, and anxiety happening all at the same time. I turned 40. Even typing it, I still am wrinkling my nose in disgust. I know, I know age is just a number. But I don't like this number. I have been trying to come up with the reason why I don't like this number, being in this age bracket, checking that next box. I have watched my former high school classmates all turn 40 with grace, dignity, joy, excitement and all I want to do is curl up in a ball and pretend it didn't happen. In an effort to fight it, I chopped off 12 inches off of my hair. Ok, so my midlife crisis is little compared to others, but it was a huge decision for me. It was a way of forcing me to change my perception of myself. Unfortunately, it didn't work very well. It just made my morning routine go a little faster :) So, why have I dreaded this birthday so much? I really don't have a defini