Single and Searching for Him

2014, what a year. Some of it good.  A lot of it bad.  This wasn't a good year for me.  I learned a lot about life this past year.  Not all of it good.  As I am reflecting on this past year, I am not sure how to think about it.  I feel like this year just kicked my butt.  It was hard, terrifying, humbling, grief stricken, horrifying, and at times, just plain awful.  But then there were bright patches among the darkness. There was hope, joy, pride, excitement, and love. One of the best moments of this year was watching my big brother cross the finish line and hear the words "Dan Hopkins, You Are An Ironman!"  I still get teary thinking about that moment and how excited he was to finish.  I was amazed that he was able to do it.  I was proud that he accomplished it.  I was overjoyed to see him after a long 12 hours of aunt and mommy sitting! I was overcome when I got to hug him at the end.  My brother is one of my heroes.  He had worked so hard to complete this goal and I

As I sit here, in the glow of my Christmas tree, my candles burning, Christmas music playing softly in the background, I am at peace.  I love the lights, smells, and sounds of Christmas and enjoy sitting in my living room with the tree lit and the music playing.  It instantly calms me down and sets my focus on what Christmas is all about.  This also leaves a lot of time to think! This past year, 37, has been full of great moments as well as moments of absolute despair.  Choices that I have made, circumstances out of my control, and life in general have all merged together to weave this year.  Where I was at 37 is no where near where I thought I would be when I planned my life out in middle school.  In English class, either my seventh or eighth grade year, we had to write our own obituary stating all of the things that we have accomplished in our lives.  I took that assignment and made it my timeline.  I was going to go to college, graduate, get married, have four children (2 boys, 2