For these children...

Lately, I have had a verse in my head. I Samuel 1:27.  “For this child I prayed, and the Lord granted me my petition that I made known to Him.”  Granted, this verse is from Hannah and she gave up Samuel for the Lord’s work.  However, as I have been setting up my classroom (squee!!!) this week and making the lesson plans and going through the endless professional development, this verse has resonated with me.  While I am not blessed with my own children, I have had a hole in my heart.  So the 24 children that have been entrusted to me this year, whether they are physically in my room or virtually in my room,  I have been praying for.  I don’t know what this year is going to hold, but I know who holds it for us.

As I sit here the night before my first day of school, fielding questions from my parents and going over plans with my team via text, my anxiety is going through the roof.  I have had many battles this week with my anxiety and panic attacks.  I have been asked why did I leave a good job to come back to teaching during a pandemic?  While I am trying to remember how to do the job, my administration said something on the first day with all staff that I keep going back to.  He said “Know your why.  Why you are a teacher in the first place.”  I went home that night and wrote down my why.  On Tuesday, he checked in with me to see how I was doing and I told him that I went home and wrote down my why.  That helped.  So I keep going back to my why.

My why is simple yet hard to explain if you have never experienced it.  My why is as simple as I miss the spark.  There is something about watching a child fully grasp a concept that was previously difficult or that is new to them.  There is a moment in their eye that shows complete understanding.  

So as I get ready to begin this wild, weird school year with so many unknowns, I am going to remember that for these children I have prayed and to remember my why.  







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