On this day....20 years in the making

 
June 20,2004... A day that was full of crazy adventures.  See Year 10-Moving Day! for all the crazy details.  Not sure how it's been 20 years since I left with a dream in my heart and thinking it was only going to be for a year.  I thought for sure I would only be gone for one year.  How naive I was!

When I was writing the 10-year posts, I thought ahead about the 20-year post. Where would I be?  What would I be doing?   I certainly did NOT see my life where it is now.  I was in corporate America living my life, hiding the part of me that wanted to be in the classroom, shoving it way down so I didn't have to think about it.  I know that time in my life was important.  It gave me confidence in who I am as a person, it gave me the strength to stand up for myself, and it showed me truly how to be a team player and the importance of relying on your coworkers to help you out in any situation.  But it certainly wasn't my passion.

The last ten years have had way too many goodbyes. As I think back on all I've lost, I am also amazed at how much I have grown.  I have become more confident, more settled in who I am, more understanding of myself, more selective about who I allow into my circle, more appreciative of who I am, and more aware of what I need to be the best version of myself I can be.  Am I there? No, but honestly, who is?  Am I getting closer? Definitely.  

While I may wish for life to have turned out differently, I can take this opportunity of reflection and appreciate how far I have come.  I've taken myself to New York City and spent a week there doing all the things I love.  I've gotten a roommate (in the form of my brother....), and truly appreciate the time I had with him to change our relationship. I also appreciate him more now that he is thriving in his own place ;)  I've also learned that I can step away from the comfortable when I can't embrace it the way I used to and find another path.  I've learned to slow down and give myself grace when I don't accomplish everything I want or need to.  I've learned to listen to my mind and body and allow it to rest and recharge as needed as well as move in more ways than I thought possible.  I understand that my passion is teaching and that I'm good at it.  I want to keep learning and growing and watching my students do the same as they become more than scholars, but kind and decent human beings also.  I love being in the same building and getting to keep cultivating the relationships I worked hard on each year.  I'm taking steps career-wise to help me and those around me be better educators and humans.  I've learned that while Lady may have been my heart dog, I can make room for another animal who is wild, crazy, frustrating, and a complete sweetheart when he wants to be!  

So while I am not at all where I would have imagined I would be 20 years ago, I would still do it all again to have the life I have and to be the person I have become.  

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