Changes

This past year has been full of changes for me, yet, there are times when I feel as if nothing has changed.  I look in the mirror and still see the same person I was a year ago when I started this journey.  I still see the person who wanted to change, but had no idea or desire to truly do the work to change.  I still see the girl who couldn't do anything or wanted to do anything.  I still see the old me.


My brother just spent two weeks with me.  He has an amazing ability with a camera.  He wanted to see some spots in North Carolina that he would not get in Ohio.  So we got in the car and headed west.  We landed in Pisgah National Forest at Looking Glass Falls.  He got some beautiful shots (one which is now on my wall).  From there, we went to Linville Falls and hiked up to the upper falls and he got some good shots as well.  Then, we saw people down at the base of the falls.  So we decided to traverse down there.  The trail is classified as "difficult" and it is.  There isn't a trail.  It's climbing up rocks, down rocks, over roots, and down a mountain to get to the base.  There are parts that are extremely steep and treacherous. But I did it.  I was able to make the trek down the mountain and my brother ended up getting a beautiful picture (which is also now on my wall!)  I was winded going back up, but I was still able to do it.  A year ago, that would have been impossible.  When I met with my trainer the next week, he asked how my weekend was and I thanked him.  I knew that some of the stuff that we have been doing together gave me the strength and endurance to complete that trail.





This week we went to Table Rock after I got off of work.  The road to the trail was insane!  So many switchbacks on a gravel road!  I was thankful to get out of the car.  Then, the trail.  Straight up the mountain.  But it was so beautiful up at the top.  Breathtakingly beautiful.  





During these times, I had a lot of time to sit and think and absorb the beauty around me while my brother traveled all over taking pictures.  During that time, I realized that while on the inside there are times when I see the same person, I'm not.  I have fought, struggled, cried, screamed, been afraid.  This past year has been full of changes.  It has not been an easy year.  Not in the least.  But has it been worth it?  Absolutely.  The things that I have been able to experience, do, accomplish are worth all of the literal blood, sweat, and tears that have occurred this year.



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