Phase two
As we enter phase two of reopening, these last two weeks have been extremely emotional for me. Not the quarantine, but for the life choices that I have made. There have been really high high’s and really low lows. I have cried every day and have been at extreme peace. I did something I never thought I would do again.
A couple of years ago, I was cleaning out my cupboards and getting rid of all of the mugs that I had accrued over the years. There were a bunch from former students, friends, and myself that I couldn’t close the cupboard doors. I had just moved into my place and knew I needed to downsize on the amount of mugs. After all, how many mugs does one person really need?? However, there was one that my parents had given me that I couldn’t seem to get rid of. It has a poem on it that is titled “She who is called to teach” and on the inside it has the words “Nurturing the minds of future generations”. I remember my mom and I having a conversation about why I still had the mug since I wasn’t teaching anymore and I couldn’t give her an answer. It wasn’t the size or shape of the mug, but what it had stood for. It stood for what I had always dreamed of doing and for a short period had a chance to do. There’s a line in the poem that says “The epiphany of her life calling came in a breathtaking flash of enlightenment. The challenge that would be her life’s work became perfectly clear.” For me, deciding to be a teacher wasn’t a breathtaking moment, but it was always clear. It was the only thing I wanted to do with my life as a little girl (except for the couple of months where I thought it would be cool to be a nurse like my aunt, and then realized that I would not be able to handle the blood and needles associated with nursing and went right back to wanting to be a teacher.
Then my life took a hard turn and I left with my tail between my legs in utter humiliation and devastation. It took a long time and some therapy to realize that it was ok and I was meeting people I never would have had the chance to meet, doing things I wouldn’t have had the chance to do and worked for a really good company that truly cares for its people more than the bottom line. So for the last eight years, I have been in corporate America doing my job to the best of my ability and healing from the hurt and scars and failure of teaching.
A couple of months ago, I was asked by a friend of mine that I used to teach with if I would be interested in a position at her school. This isn’t the first time she had asked me this and I always had an immediate no for her. I had a good job with good people. This time was different. I was having breakfast with a sister and was talking to her about it. She looked at me and said “there’s something different about this time, isn’t there?” And I had to agree. I didn’t have an immediate no for her. So I told my friend I would think about it. Well... apparently that meant yes because she texted and said “send me a copy of your resume, you have an interview this afternoon.” Wait... what???? So, after a mild panic attack, I went home, dusted off my resume and emailed it to her and got ready for an interview. I was a nervous wreck. The moment I stepped into the building, however, there was such a moment of peace and calmness that overtook me. I went in the interview, told them my story and had an amazing conversation. I was passed over for the job and at that moment, realized how badly I had wanted it. I spiraled down for a little while and pretended that it was ok.
Looking back, I realize that God truly had a plan for me. The world turned upside down, but during this time, I have been able to save, I have been able to work from home, and many other blessings that have happened.
However, that isn’t the end of my story. I got a call from the school and they offered me another position. This time, teaching with my friend on the same grade level as well as someone else I used to teach with. And so... I have quit my current job and will be a teacher again in the fall. What exactly that is going to look like, I am not sure but to be able to go back to my first love is something that I am getting excited about. There are moments of extreme terror, after all, it’s been 8 years since I taught, but the more I am doing to get my license reinstated, the more I am remembering how much I loved learning different techniques and strategies to help my children. So, I have started praying for that new group of kids that I will have charge over. I have had to say good-bye to so many amazing coworkers that have become friends. It’s going to be an interesting summer as I finish one job and start another. But I am anxiously awaiting Phase Two of my life!
A couple of years ago, I was cleaning out my cupboards and getting rid of all of the mugs that I had accrued over the years. There were a bunch from former students, friends, and myself that I couldn’t close the cupboard doors. I had just moved into my place and knew I needed to downsize on the amount of mugs. After all, how many mugs does one person really need?? However, there was one that my parents had given me that I couldn’t seem to get rid of. It has a poem on it that is titled “She who is called to teach” and on the inside it has the words “Nurturing the minds of future generations”. I remember my mom and I having a conversation about why I still had the mug since I wasn’t teaching anymore and I couldn’t give her an answer. It wasn’t the size or shape of the mug, but what it had stood for. It stood for what I had always dreamed of doing and for a short period had a chance to do. There’s a line in the poem that says “The epiphany of her life calling came in a breathtaking flash of enlightenment. The challenge that would be her life’s work became perfectly clear.” For me, deciding to be a teacher wasn’t a breathtaking moment, but it was always clear. It was the only thing I wanted to do with my life as a little girl (except for the couple of months where I thought it would be cool to be a nurse like my aunt, and then realized that I would not be able to handle the blood and needles associated with nursing and went right back to wanting to be a teacher.
Then my life took a hard turn and I left with my tail between my legs in utter humiliation and devastation. It took a long time and some therapy to realize that it was ok and I was meeting people I never would have had the chance to meet, doing things I wouldn’t have had the chance to do and worked for a really good company that truly cares for its people more than the bottom line. So for the last eight years, I have been in corporate America doing my job to the best of my ability and healing from the hurt and scars and failure of teaching.
A couple of months ago, I was asked by a friend of mine that I used to teach with if I would be interested in a position at her school. This isn’t the first time she had asked me this and I always had an immediate no for her. I had a good job with good people. This time was different. I was having breakfast with a sister and was talking to her about it. She looked at me and said “there’s something different about this time, isn’t there?” And I had to agree. I didn’t have an immediate no for her. So I told my friend I would think about it. Well... apparently that meant yes because she texted and said “send me a copy of your resume, you have an interview this afternoon.” Wait... what???? So, after a mild panic attack, I went home, dusted off my resume and emailed it to her and got ready for an interview. I was a nervous wreck. The moment I stepped into the building, however, there was such a moment of peace and calmness that overtook me. I went in the interview, told them my story and had an amazing conversation. I was passed over for the job and at that moment, realized how badly I had wanted it. I spiraled down for a little while and pretended that it was ok.
Looking back, I realize that God truly had a plan for me. The world turned upside down, but during this time, I have been able to save, I have been able to work from home, and many other blessings that have happened.
However, that isn’t the end of my story. I got a call from the school and they offered me another position. This time, teaching with my friend on the same grade level as well as someone else I used to teach with. And so... I have quit my current job and will be a teacher again in the fall. What exactly that is going to look like, I am not sure but to be able to go back to my first love is something that I am getting excited about. There are moments of extreme terror, after all, it’s been 8 years since I taught, but the more I am doing to get my license reinstated, the more I am remembering how much I loved learning different techniques and strategies to help my children. So, I have started praying for that new group of kids that I will have charge over. I have had to say good-bye to so many amazing coworkers that have become friends. It’s going to be an interesting summer as I finish one job and start another. But I am anxiously awaiting Phase Two of my life!
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