Single and Searching for Him

This past March, I had to go to Washington DC for work over a weekend. During that time, I had an opportunity to explore DC.  It has been several years since I went there and so I wanted to make the most of my time.  I walked all over and found everything I wanted to see.  There were a few that surprised me with how powerful they were.  The first night, the sun was starting to set and I was on my way back to the metro to get back to the hotel.  I was coming back from the Lincoln Memorial when I literally stumbled upon the Korean Memorial.  If you have ever seen it, it is marble statues in formation.  Coming up on it as the sun was starting to set was breath taking.  It was amazing to see the statues marching through the brush.  I could imagine the scene and all I could do was stare in amazement as tears rolled down my face.  I was speechless.  People I had never met, nor would ever meet, were in this foreign land for me.  In ...

I have started this post three different times in the past few days.  Every time, I get part of the way and decide it was too hard to put out there.  However, I keep coming back and starting it, so I must have to write this as painful as it is going to be. I would say 90% of the time, I enjoy being single.  I can be selfish.  If I want to go to bed at 8:00, there isn't anyone to judge me.  If I want to go somewhere, I can.  I can eat whatever I want (which landed me in trouble...), do what I want, go where I want.  I don't need to discuss with anyone what my schedule is.  I just do what I want.  No questions asked. Then, there are those days that I abhor being single.  Balancing the checkbook and realizing I have just enough to pay all the bills. Being asked "Why aren't you dating anyone?". Having advice given to break out of the singleness (as if it were a horrendous disease).  Hearing about another engagement, pregnancy, life...