Second one down

Yesterday I did it.  It was ugly,  It was hard.  It was miserable. It was slow. It was painful.  But I did it.  I completed my second half marathon.  

I hadn't trained as hard for this one as I did for my first.  I had gained weight.  I was not physically or mentally ready.  But I had registered and payed the money to push myself to doing something that 2% of the population has completed.  Plus, one of my high school classmates that I haven't seen since graduation (22 years ago) was going to be there with all of her peeps, so I had to do it.

I woke up right before the alarm because of a nightmare I had had about the race and the fact that I didn't wake up until 7 (which was the start time of the race).  I was in the hotel and somehow the bathroom door got locked, so we couldn't use it.  Fortunately, the only thing in there was my toothpaste and toothbrush so mom went down to the front desk to get someone to open up the door.  I started getting ready and they brought up a toothbrush and toothpaste for me to use.  

The hotel had provided a light breakfast so I went down, got a bagel and some water.  Then we were off.  At 5:00 in the morning.  It was so dark and so cold.  I got dropped off at the start and said goodbye to my parents. I walked in with another lady who got dropped off and we started talking.  She was from Houston  TX and wanted to do a marathon in all 50 states.  This helped calm the butterflies a little because I got distracted by thinking about the logistics of doing a marathon in every state and would I ever get to that point.  I truly don't think so.  That did not sound like something I would ever want to do.

About an hour later, after sitting outside in the cold on the concrete, I met up with my friend from high school and we started walking to the finish line.  There were so many people there and it seemed as if she knew EVERYONE!  She introduced me to all of her people and I honestly can't remember anyone that I met.  However, I was focusing on trying to feel my fingers and toes and to try and stop shivering from the cold.

The race started and we stayed still for a good 10-15 seconds to get everyone through the start line.  We finally crossed the start line and she was off.  I found my pace while trying to control my breathing and not freeze my lungs out.  The first mile was through the park on a curvy hill.  I was consciously trying to not blow out the first couple of miles so that I would have something left the last couple.  

Mile one, two and the start of three were through the city and all I remember about them was that I was trying to find where my toes were and to get my heart rate up to get blood circulating so I knew where they were.  When I say it was cold, I really mean, it was FREEZING!!!  

At mile three, we started on the American Tobacco Trail.  It was beautiful, but crushed gravel.  So a different surface than what I was used to.

This was my view for miles 3-10.  We went down 4 miles and came back 4 miles.  8 miles in the woods.  My parents were near the beginning and the end so I knew where to look for them.  They were cheering on everyone.  It was great!

Mile 3, 4, and 5 were good.  There were water stops every mile so it wasn't taxing.  I was keeping pace at a 14 minute mile, and still cold.  Then we get to the second part of the trail.  At this point I started seeing people coming back from the halfway point.  I am at mile 4 and these people had already completed half of the race and I still had 9 miles to go.  At this point, it became mental.  It was a little defeating.  This is where my mental game started going off track.  However, at that point, the song on my playlist was "Never Once" by Matt Redmond.  The lyric goes Never once did you leave us on our own, never once did we walk alone.  At that point I smiled, looked up and said "Thanks, Lord"  and kept going.  The next song on my playlist was Thy Will by Hillary Scott.  Again, this was a God thing as there is a part of the song that says I may never understand, but thy will be done.   Again, I started laughing because earlier that morning my mom and I were talking about how with everything that was a mishap this weekend, I made the comment that maybe I wasn't supposed to be doing this race.  I was starting to think that I was being stupid and trying to do something on my own.  Then those two songs come on back to back.  Yeah, it definitely made me smile and remember that my God is with me no matter what my trials or trails may lead.  

I hit the halfway mark and turned around and started heading back the way I came.  I got to mile seven when the first marathoner was coming down the other side.  I was excited that I had made it half way through before he passed me.  The next couple of miles were a struggle because all of a sudden, my nose was a running faucet.  It would not stop.  I started praying that my mom would have a tissue for me to blow my nose as my sleeve was getting very wet with the dripping.  I had about a mile to go before I saw her and one of the volunteers at the water station, looked at me and said "Girl, you have so got this.  You look great!"  and I rolled my eyes at her.  I thought how on earth could I look great when I have run 8.5 miles at this point and still had about 5 left? She just smiled at me and said you do!  So I kept pressing forward because I didn't want to quit before I saw my parents again.  I knew my mother and father would be anxiously awaiting my arrival to them.  So I did the only thing I could do at that point and kept going.  I finally saw my parents and asked if she had a tissue.  She started looking through her pockets and found one.  I stopped and blew my nose and kept the tissue to use.  That helped.  Then we left the trail and were back on the road.  

The wind was blowing hard and right in my face.  I hadn't warmed up yet.  I saw a sign that said "You thought this was a good idea 4 months ago".  I looked at the lady holding the sign and said "that is the truth"  She told me it was still a good idea.  I don't think so, I thought.  I was cold, I was hurting, I had gravel in my shoes and could feel a blister forming.  We get to mile 12 and I must have looked horrible because I kept hearing, you got this.  You can do it.  A mile left.  Finish strong.  I tried.  I kept going.  Then I saw the sign for mile 13.  That is when panic set in.  For some reason, I could not get my breathing under control.  I kept choking, I could not do it.  I heard "the finish line is right around the corner"  "Finish strong".  I went around the corner. No finish line.  I heard again, you are almost to the finish.  I kept looking.  I didn't see it.  Then my friend starts yelling at me.  She was encouraging me to finish.  She said "The finish line is right ahead, you can see it."  I yelled back at her "I have heard that 15 times!  I don't believe you!!"  She started laughing and pointed up and said, "No, really, you are right here". I finally saw it.  The inflatable finish line.  I was really struggling.  I was in massive amounts of pain.  My hips were hurting.  My feet were numb, cold, wet.  I kept thinking one more step.  I looked up because I was determined to cross the finish line with my head up.  I did it.

I hated every mile.  There wasn't a point in the 3 hours and 16 minutes that I thought "I am so glad I am doing this"  I was cold.  I was wet because of the rain the night before.  My fingers were swollen and tingling.  I was miserable.  

I found my parents at the end of the race and started crying.  My mom had to hold me up.  I told them it was the worst decision I had ever made. I was shivering.  I was hurting.  Have I said I was miserable?

It was hard.  But then, if it was easy, more than 2% of the population would have accomplished this.  I have now done something I previously thought impossible. Not just one time, but twice.  Yes, it was horrible.  But I finished.  I panicked.  But I finished.  I have to just keep reminding myself of that fact. I finished.  That was the goal and I did it.