Thoughts while running

As some of you know, I have decided to run a half marathon before I am 40.   Since that is 6 months from today, (eek!) I don't have much time left.  So I have been training to do this.  Some days, I have a great run and feel energized!  Some days, I struggle.   I have discovered that running is mainly mental.  If you can get your focus on what it needs to be, the run is inspiring.  If not, it is painful.

Today's goal was 5 miles (10k in one month!!!).  I woke up and got dressed and went to the park I like to run in.  It has paved pathways and a lot of shade.  I had some technical difficulties at first with my music, but soon got into the groove.  It was good for a little bit, but the humidity this morning made it hard to breathe.  Then I got to a downhill part and had a great song on my playlist, I was getting into the "runner's space".  I was almost halfway through.  

I started my second loop around.  It was straight uphill.  I was going, then I got passed.  They weren't rude, they just were faster than me.  They were also older than me.  That's when the mental game got tough.  I started thinking it was too hard.  I was too out of shape, I still had so much weight to lose before I can be a runner, I don't belong out here with these people, I can't do this, why do I think this is something I can do, and so on.  I let my thoughts get really loud.

The last mile was hard.  I was in a lot of pain, my breathing was erratic, and my thoughts were really loud.  I ended up walking the last half mile or so.

It was an ugly run and I didn't do the 5 miles like I wanted to, but tomorrow is another day and I can try again.




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