Storms
The last couple of weeks, I have been in the midst of some very strong storms. Hurricane force winds, rain pelting down from all directions, beaten, battered, crushed, pushed down. I'm not talking about physical storms (although as I write this, thunder is rolling outside). I'm talking about the storms of life. Those things that you look back on and marvel at how God got you through it. How he protected you, sheltered you, supported you. However, going through it, being beaten from every direction, it is hard to see that next step. It's hard to think about how one day, you will be able to praise God for all He has done for you. But we are not commanded to wait to praise Him. We are told to praise Him in ALL things. Don't get me wrong... this is not easy. All I want to do right this very moment, is curl up in my bed, with the covers over my head, and have another good cry. Believe me when I tell you, I have had some fantastic cries the last two weeks. I even broke down at work one day. It's not that I am not praising Him, but I am having difficulty seeing how He is going to protect me through this and get me to the other side without tossing me overboard.
This is where it gets real in your faith. These times. Right now. The times when the rain is beating so hard that you can't see your hand in front of your face. The times when the wind is howling, the house is shaking. The times when it seems never ending, all consuming, so hard. This is when you look up and say, "I can't, but I know, somehow, You can". My quiet times the last two weeks have been all over the place. I've gone from the Psalms, to Job, to Esther, to the gospels. They've also been extremely difficult. I feel like a two year old throwing a massive temper tantrum, telling God what all needs to happen and that it needs to happen yesterday. Then, I read in the Psalms "Be still" and I stumble to a grinding halt. I read in Esther "For such a time as this". I read in Job "I would seek unto God, and unto God would I commit my cause: Which doeth great things and unsearchable; marvelous things without number: Who giveth rain upon the earth, and sendeth waters upon the fields: To set up on high those that be low; that those which mourn may be exalted to safety." I read in the gospels about Jesus praying in the garden "Nevertheless, not my will, but thine".
There have been nights where I am lying in bed, and I can't even find the words to pray. My heart hurts, my head hurts from holding back the tears, I feel as if I am not going to see an end to this time. This storm, at this moment, seems never ending. However, with those verses, I know without a shadow of a doubt, that my Lord can go to the Father on my behalf because He has been there. He understands. There is comfort in that.
I have also had rainbows that have appeared. A perfectly timed text, a phone call, compassion and help from friends, even talking face to face with someone. I have these "pockets of grace" where I am able to breathe for just a moment, before the storm comes again. These little blessings that seem so insignificant, have meant the world to me.
There is a song out right now by Danny Gokey called "Hope in Front of You". There is a line in the song that says "there's a place at the end of the storm, You finally find, Where the hurt, the pain, and the tears all fall behind". I'm not there yet. I don't know when, or how I will be there. I know that I am to take that next step, breathe that next breath, keep living and moving as the storm blows around me. I have that hope in front of me. Is it easy? Not by a long shot! Is it worth it? Beyond a shadow of a doubt.
I know this isn't the last storm that God has for me. But, because He has brought me through so many, I know that, eventually, I will see the end of this one. For now, though, I am in the midst of it.
This is where it gets real in your faith. These times. Right now. The times when the rain is beating so hard that you can't see your hand in front of your face. The times when the wind is howling, the house is shaking. The times when it seems never ending, all consuming, so hard. This is when you look up and say, "I can't, but I know, somehow, You can". My quiet times the last two weeks have been all over the place. I've gone from the Psalms, to Job, to Esther, to the gospels. They've also been extremely difficult. I feel like a two year old throwing a massive temper tantrum, telling God what all needs to happen and that it needs to happen yesterday. Then, I read in the Psalms "Be still" and I stumble to a grinding halt. I read in Esther "For such a time as this". I read in Job "I would seek unto God, and unto God would I commit my cause: Which doeth great things and unsearchable; marvelous things without number: Who giveth rain upon the earth, and sendeth waters upon the fields: To set up on high those that be low; that those which mourn may be exalted to safety." I read in the gospels about Jesus praying in the garden "Nevertheless, not my will, but thine".
There have been nights where I am lying in bed, and I can't even find the words to pray. My heart hurts, my head hurts from holding back the tears, I feel as if I am not going to see an end to this time. This storm, at this moment, seems never ending. However, with those verses, I know without a shadow of a doubt, that my Lord can go to the Father on my behalf because He has been there. He understands. There is comfort in that.
I have also had rainbows that have appeared. A perfectly timed text, a phone call, compassion and help from friends, even talking face to face with someone. I have these "pockets of grace" where I am able to breathe for just a moment, before the storm comes again. These little blessings that seem so insignificant, have meant the world to me.
There is a song out right now by Danny Gokey called "Hope in Front of You". There is a line in the song that says "there's a place at the end of the storm, You finally find, Where the hurt, the pain, and the tears all fall behind". I'm not there yet. I don't know when, or how I will be there. I know that I am to take that next step, breathe that next breath, keep living and moving as the storm blows around me. I have that hope in front of me. Is it easy? Not by a long shot! Is it worth it? Beyond a shadow of a doubt.
I know this isn't the last storm that God has for me. But, because He has brought me through so many, I know that, eventually, I will see the end of this one. For now, though, I am in the midst of it.
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